I love tents. I love looking at them in the Canadian Tire sales flyer. I even love pitching them in the dark for outdoor festivals… but busted zippers are as common as black flies and often turn a great tent into a frustrating mosquito trap.
As much as I’m totally for reusing stuff till it disintegrates completely, if someone even suggests I replace a tent zipper again I’m gonna kick their ass.
Seems like it should be pretty simple right? I’ve done a lot of zippers, but this one changed my life forever… I will never look at a tent the same again.
My neighbour brought me her dad’s small tent that needed the entry zipper replaced. It had duct tape holding half of it together, the rest of the zipper was badly damaged. No problem, or so I thought…
I went to one of the local fabric and trim shops for “zipper by the yard”. Unfortunately he didn’t have the same type of zipper so I could reuse the sliders, but they could have been the source of the damage in the first place. So he hooked me up with a double sided slider from a jacket zipper, cut that zipper to get the slider off (which itself is worth a couple dollars), spent 15 min or so putting on the new slider and a stopper – all for only $5! Sweet! I tried to give him $10 (considering the time he spent helping me and the other zipper) but he refused. I thought “wow, what a super guy and he must really want my business” but, he must have known how difficult this was going to be.
So off I go… spent an hour ripping the old one out, removing duct tape, and trying to remove some of duct tape sticky shit left behind, good times. Then I make new casings for the ends, wicked. I attach one side of the zipper, happy to find out it is exactly the right length. Everything looks good. Start with the other side and get about 3/4 of the way and realize something is not right. This side is shorter than the other by about 5 inches. wtf? riiiiight… it’s a CURVED seam. Means one side is longer than the other. Awesome.
So I rip out the longer side, read on the internet about fixing tent zippers (should have done that first right? shut-up) and sure enough, you have to “ease” the longer side in. Let me tell you, there’s absolutely nothing “ease”y about easing nylon. Second try, bunch of little mini pleats and looks like hell. Third try, still some pleats, looks a little better but now it’s too short. Fourth try, whooooo I think I got it. Still has little pleats in it, but fuck it. I’m not ripping it out again.
$40, minus $5 for the zipper… and a lot of stitch ripping.
Alright, so if you need a tent zipper fixed, don’t ask me. Take your broken-ass hippie crap somewhere else! Or screw the environment and anti-consumerism, throw that shit in the garbage, and buy a new one.
Tents are on sale at Canadian Tire.
p.s. if you have to sew something with duct tape goo on it, try rubbing some flour into it. yes I said flour.